Spamese

Only in a spam, from an ignorant spammer will you find these words, phrases, statements and questions!!! Have a good laugh!!! It's okay to laugh at the spammers' ignorance, as long as you don't get taken in by them!

The Spammer Hammer

SPAMESE:

"Delievery"--apparently stands for "delivery".

"Serveices"--apparently stands for "services".

"Charterd"--I don't know if this was a deliberate misspelling or if it's actually the name of a finance company (offering a loan).

"Do not response"--Okay, I won't!

"Your Sincerely"--Thanks for the "compliment"!

"Abandant"--not to be confused with "abundant"--apparently the spammer was attempting to spell "abandoned"--oops!

"Madamus"--I'm clueless, but I saw it in a Nigerian 419 spam e-mail.

"Your;s"--Funky new way to spell "Yours"

"Monatery"--Don't confuse with "Monastery"! It was supposed to be "Monetary".

"Maximun"--No, it's not a name. Spammy Sammy was apparently trying to say, "maximum".

"Seaching"--"Searching"

"Secreceirity"--Give up?? I'll give you a hint--it's what most spammers want you to do--maintain "secrecy"! Now that we're all confused....!

"We finish this information to you"--I supposedly won the lottery. I wonder how they "finished this information"???

"Exlusive"--only an ignorant spammer!

"Congratulation"--should be plural.

"Fiduciary"--Something to do with money. Other than that, I'm clueless.

"You are advice to"/"You are adviced to"--Apparently the ignorant spammers don't know where the letter "s" is on their keyboard.

"have been greatly abuse"--Did this spammer's mama drop him on his head as an infant???

"with the whole passengers aboard"--Most people get "aboard" something as "whole passengers".

"Consignment lodgings"--Is this a fancy hotel for spammy funds to stay???

"ripe you off"--Yes, I'd been feeling a little "green around the gills" as my mother would say.

"Fraudsters"--Farida Waziri's term for the other good folk I've been "doing business with"

"eloped the country"--Okay. Whatever floats your boat!

"Pty kindred"--is this "party", "partly", "pity" or "pretty"??? I'll leave that to the readers.

"With due respect to your person"--Is the spammer attempting to "Get Physical"--oh dear! I'll never be able to listen to that Olivia Newton John song without cracking up!!!

"You have been approve"--Spammy Sammy flunked out of spelling at an early age, it seems.

"Mean While"--Back at the ranch???

"Kindly with a heart support us"--A spammer's plea.

"Curditting"--I have no idea, so you will have to use your imagination and think like a spammer.

"Check-mate you payment files"--Sounds like the spammer thinks he's just won a major chess tournament, doesn't it?

"Regard"--Ending to a spam I received. Now, why should I "Regard" a spammer??

"Next of Kin Neededn"--I'm not sure of what the significance is for the lower case "n".

"In dare need"--found in one of my Sob Story Spams. Was the spammer "daring" me to respond???

"My only son and I have meet and agreed"--Yes???

"Who humbly advice us"--found in the same spam where "Mommy Dearest" and her "son" "have meet and agreed".

"I am saddle with the responsibility"--Another Spammy Song comes to mind--"Back in the Saddle Again"!

"Please answer the below questions"--Whatever happened to the "above questions"??

"Reply Urgent"--Okay. You're "Urgent". Happy now, Spammy Sammy?

"Trust worthy fellow"--almost as if the spammer is trying to carefully "enunciate" every word for his intended victims' benefit.

"Poffession"--Not to be confused with "professor".

"Legend Moore"--Name of a spammer who sent me a spam, offering me a "loan".

"Werstern Union"--Western Union must have changed their name to include a Southern drawl.

"concoulded"--Spammy Sammy intended to say he has "concluded" his spammy little business dealings.

"Caravan Marvan"--another interesting name of a spammer.

"How was your night over there in your country and today; believe you had a nice night and the arthmosphere in your country is very nice today?" Well, er, actually it was cold and snowy, dear. This was from a spam from a "sweet lady" wanting a "relationship" with one or more of her "undisclosed recipients".

"We give loan"--We rob you blind, too.

"Could it be possible i know if you got my mail." An interesting spam from a spammer who was probably wacked out on loco weed.

These are just a few of the stupid things that you can find in a spam e-mail. Hope you enjoyed yourselves, and I will continue to add to my "auspicious list".